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Kamala Harris Puts Finishing Touches On 'Battlestar Galactica' Fan Fiction
Washington, DC — Balancing work and life is a challenge faced by many, but politician Kamala Harris seems to have found the perfect equilibrium. Growing…
Mar 27
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Kamala Harris Puts Finishing Touches On 'Battlestar Galactica' Fan Fiction
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Tesla Releases Nude-Driving Technology
AUSTIN, TX — Perhaps in an effort to juice the flagging stock price of the electric carmaker, Tesla announced on Thursday that a software update…
Dec 15, 2022
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Tesla Releases Nude-Driving Technology
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Weird Pain Probably Nothing, Right?
The weird pain that keeps happening, the one that’s like a stinging sometimes, but other times it’s more like a throbbing — it’s probably nothing…
Dec 5, 2022
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Weird Pain Probably Nothing, Right?
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Taylor Swift Demands Ritual Sacrifice Of Top Ticketmaster Executives
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Nov 18, 2022
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Taylor Swift Demands Ritual Sacrifice Of Top Ticketmaster Executives
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Kyrsten Sinema Takes Off Mask To Reveal True Lizard Self
WASHINGTON, DC — Senator Kyrsten Sinema of Arizona shocked the political world on Friday morning when she removed the human mask that she had been…
Dec 9, 2022
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Kyrsten Sinema Takes Off Mask To Reveal True Lizard Self
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Kanye West Denounced By Home Planet
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Dec 1, 2022
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Kanye West Denounced By Home Planet
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Biden Touts US-Made Microchips As 'Great With Tiny Sandwiches'
PHOENIX, AZ — During his tour of a semiconductor factory in Arizona’s capital city, President Joe Biden told reporters that US-made microchips are the…
Dec 7, 2022
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Biden Touts US-Made Microchips As 'Great With Tiny Sandwiches'
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Jeff Bezos Announces He Will Give Most Of His Fortune To Satan
SEATTLE, WA — In an unexpected turn of events, Jeff Bezos — Amazon’s founder and one of the wealthiest people in the world — announced on Sunday that he…
Nov 14, 2022
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Jeff Bezos Announces He Will Give Most Of His Fortune To Satan
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Supreme Court Rules That The Purge Begins At Midnight Tonight
Catching nearly the entire country off guard, the Supreme Court has issued a ruling this morning declaring that the Purge — a day during which all…
Jun 30, 2022
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Supreme Court Rules That The Purge Begins At Midnight Tonight
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World Eager To Completely Forget 'Avatar' Sequel By End Of February
James Cameron’s Avatar: The Way of Water, a sequel to 2009’s Avatar, arrives in theaters on Friday, and movie fans around the world are eagerly looking…
Dec 14, 2022
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World Eager To Completely Forget 'Avatar' Sequel By End Of February
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Vasectomies Are The Nuclear Holocaust Of Birth Control
By RICK SANTORUM, PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE A lot of folks out there have been asking me about the best way to strengthen their families. Some hard-working…
Feb 24, 2012
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Vasectomies Are The Nuclear Holocaust Of Birth Control
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Scientists On Verge Of Making 'Fetch' Happen
On Tuesday morning, the nation’s scientists announced that they had achieved a monumental breakthrough in their nearly two decades-long attempt to make…
Dec 13, 2022
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Scientists On Verge Of Making 'Fetch' Happen
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